Demons

1:20 PM

There are so many demons, it’s unbelievable. They all want Mountain Do-Good: Code Red, it’s their favorite drink. I called and asked the PepsInc vendor to get me as many as they can for us because it doesn’t seem like they’re going to stop anytime soon. Luckily, my advice about the Gate to Hell in the Gate to Hell Trailer Park was still valid, and the demons do filter out. They really are being sucked out of Hell seemingly at random and are forced to walk back. You’d think that demons could actually control Hell portals, and you’d be right, but there’s two problems:

1. The vast, vast majority of demons do not have the power to travel between planes.

2. The few who do seem to be unable to do so in the presence of this mystery portal, forcing them to walk back through the Gate to Hell trailer park.

5:00 PM

Awful, terrible. There are so many customers, not just because there’s a lot of demons making their way into the Territory, but also because people in the Territory are getting freaked out that something is happening, and are coming out to check out the portal. Had more than one tell me, “I ain’t impressed with that shit, we got one of those back home.” Even though it’s only like, the next town over. Get back in your frankenstein fuckin’ cobbled together pickemup truck and roll your broke ass back into the territory asshole, you didn’t even buy anything. OK, that’s uncharitable. But seriously, buy something or get out. Alright, maybe I wouldn’t care so much if there wasn’t so much more for me to do right now. Sorry, hypothetical customer.

Silver lining: the kinds of things that come out of the Territory and attack the store are either TERRIFIED of the appearance of a demonic legion, or they’re being preemptively destroyed before they’re even visible to us. I guess, I don’t know, maybe it does make this place feel more normal. It’s just, I’ve been at work since 6:00 AM because the auto-scheduler bumped me up to 12 hours today because there’s a near-constant stream of people coming in. It occurs to me that me and Marvin are the only employees here who I know for sure could literally die from a lack of sleep. Puppet people don’t necessarily NEED to sleep, most claim that it helps them, others are different. There’s no consensus, seems to be based on their personality. I’m actually unsure whether or not Oliver needs to sleep. I know he likes to.

I’m even more grateful now for Ann’s sudden appearance, I’d feel horrible if Marvin had to run the place with just cactus’ help. I mean, Oliver probably would stick around and help, but I don’t think he could do it on the clock, there ARE limits to how many hours even the computer system will put you on. It might make him grumpy? As long as I’ve known him, I still don’t understand what kinds of things will upset him and which ones won’t, it seems like there are just so many particulars that can make two nearly-identical situations incredibly frustrating for him. Like, he definitely doesn’t mind helping out when he’s just in the mood to hang out and talk instead of going to sleep in the utility room or wandering off into the Territory. He’ll help out without getting paid if he knows it’s really rough – sometimes. It’s like, I guess he’ll feel like it’s the company that’s putting him into a situation where he feels morally obligated to help us it’ll piss him off, but if it’s just some weird twist of fate, he’s happy-go-lucky and ready to help. I guess that’s not as much of a mystery as I was thinking, but, I guess what’s hard is figuring out what kinds of things he believes are the company’s fault and not fate’s. Okay been hiding in the bathroom typing this for way too long, I’m going to finish up my last hour and get the fuck out of here.

Ollie poses for photos with some demons, apparently he’s some kind of minor celebrity in Hell.

9:00 PM

Forgot to mention the gigantic dark cloud is coalescing into several distinct clouds. The trees are closer than ever, the treeline is now maybe not even like a quarter mile from the store now. Creepy! None of the trees have leaves. I mean, I know winter is coming up, but, the lack of leaves just makes it even less plausible that they’re growing naturally. My theory is that they’re clone trees linked by the roots. This could be big trouble for the store if they start growing right through us. I’m sure Ollie will do something if it comes to that.

The Hell portal is clearly visible even from my home. It kind of doesn’t even feel like it’s night time anymore? It’s very bright. Could the clouds and the trees be related to the Hell gate? I just wish whatever was going to happen with them would just hurry up and happen already. I would rather all of the worst stuff happen all at once, even if it’s messier, so that I can just power through it and get it done with. The demons are really boosting the local economy though. Here and in the Territory. We even thought about renting out our spare bedroom to demons that might want to stick around. Here’s some stuff I didn’t really know about demons that I learned today: most of them never, ever get to leave Hell, so this is kind of a treat for them. They all use debit, and sometimes want cashback, but there are more people requesting cash back than paying with cash, so we’re running out and have to put up a “no cashback” sign.

I’m about to fall asleep. I hope I can actually sleep. It’s 12 hour days every day until this thing is finished. Oh well. At least… I’ll… save money for later. I can buy something nice, maybe a couple of nice things.

Thinking about how this will all be over some day